QUIZ: Are You a Controlling Parent?

Parenting is complicated. And it comes with huge responsibilities.

That said, we try to influence our kids in various ways. All in the hopes of bringing up an independent individual with good moral conduct.

But there’s a fine line between being on the stricter side and downright controlling.

Here are a few things to watch out for:

Behavioral control: Do you implement strict discipline so your kids’ behavior meets your expectations? This controlling behavior refers to constraining your kids so they conform to the standards you’ve set.

Psychological control: Do you control your kids’ beliefs or emotional state? This refers to manipulation strategies used towards children, such as guilt induction, love withdrawal, and emotional blackmail.

Do you think you’re a controlling parent? Take this quiz to find out:

Be as honest as possible when answering each question. There’s no judgment here. This quiz aims to help you objectively look at your own behavior.

Disclaimer: None of the tests or quizzes found on PsychologyQuestions.com are meant to be used to diagnose. Always seek a healthcare professional before making any decisions about your health or lifestyle. You can seek a healthcare professional here.

  • Question of

    Your 10-year-old asks to go on a class field trip. Do you:

    • Let your kid go. Learning and having fun with friends on a class field trip is part of growing up.
    • Research where they are going and ask to meet with their class advisor. When you feel it’s safe, let your kid go.
    • Think of all the bad things that could happen during their class field trip. Worried about his safety, you forbid your kid to go. “It’s for his/her own safety”, you said.
  • Question of

    While cleaning your 13-year-old’s room, you came across their open Facebook Messenger. Do you:

    • Leave the room without even looking at it.
    • Browse through who they’ve been talking to without opening the messages.
    • Open each message to find out who they’ve been talking to and what they’ve been talking about. It’s an opportunity to learn about your child’s friends and social media activities.
  • Question of

    Your 16-year-old son asked his friends to come over. They’re playing a video game in the living room. Do you:

    • Leave them to enjoy their game. And tell them to get you if they need anything.
    • Check-in once in a while and bring in snacks or drinks.
    • Stay in the room to see whether they’re playing violent or inappropriate games.
  • Question of

    You enrolled your child in a ballet school. But even after months of ballet sessions, she still makes mistakes. Do you:

    • Ask her if she likes going to ballet school. And if she does, tell her it’s normal to make mistakes.
    • Encourage her to do better by practicing.
    • Get angry because she can’t do it properly.
  • Question of

    Do you criticize your child harshly?

    • Never
    • Seldom
    • Always
  • Question of

    You bought your child their first-ever smartphone. Do you:

    • Tell them about the things they should and shouldn’t share online as well as your personal do’s and don’ts. You trust them to listen to your advice. But if they don’t, you’ll have to install a parental control app.
    • Leave your child to their own devices. You believe they’re old enough to know what’s right and wrong.
    • Immediately install a parental control app. You constantly monitor their contacts, apps, and social media usage.
  • Question of

    Does your child hide his/her grades from you, especially when the grade is lower than a B-?

    • Never
    • Sometimes
    • Always
  • Question of

    Your 18-year old daughter wants to stay in a dorm for college. Do you:

    • Trust her decisions. She’s old enough to know what’s right and wrong.
    • Make sure that the dorm she’ll be staying in is safe. Talk to someone in charge and ask about the curfew and other rules and regulations?
    • Make her feel guilty for leaving you alone. Convince her that staying in your home is better because she’ll be cared for.
  • Question of

    Do you stalk your child’s Instagram and Facebook? Or do you police their status messages or the photos/videos they upload?

    • Never
    • Sometimes
    • Always
  • Question of

    Your 16-year old child is out with friends. Do you:

    • Set a curfew. But tell them to call you if anything happens.
    • Check-in once in a while to know where they are or who they are with.
    • Constantly monitor where they are by calling every few hours. You even ask for their friends’ phone numbers in case you can’t reach them.